Thursday, September 11, 2008

Our Neighbor Gale (aka Mrs Kravitz)


We have a neighbor who...hmm...(say something nice, say something nice)...who is challenged by reality.

So she goes around the neighborhood checking in on dogs and cats. This is the woman who will come into your backyard uninvited because she hears a puppy yapping. Weird.

Grace. Mercy. Must....over....come....I can't do it.

OK. Here's the story. Gail owns two houses right next to each other. One is for her dogs and the other is for her cats. She got into a fight with our other neighbor, the Frito Lay guy. Every day Frito Lay guy parks his Frito Lay truck more and more in front of the Gail's dog house. Granted, no person actually lives there but Gail had enough.
Gail borrowed a friend's boat and parked it in front of the cat house. Then she rented a 24 ft Uhaul truck and parked it in front of the dog house.
Frito lay guy got super mad and calls the cops. Nothing can be done.
This is where it gets a little weird. Like it took a Rhald Dahl turn.
-Gail puts up security cameras on her house. It ends up they were fake but annoying.
-Frito Lay guy finds out that Gail has been watering his bushes that make up a virtual wall between the two of their properties. She waters their plants every day to grow taller. FL guy cuts them to the ground. I mean stumps.
I'm not making this stuff up.
Finally, Gail decides she liked it better with the virtual wall. So she buys the biggest wooden cow cut out I've ever seen and places it just on her property line resurrecting the virtual wall. Eventually, the cops got involved. Talked her into putting the cut out cow away. No one was hurt.
Gail is her own worst enemy. But at the same time, she's also watching over my house when I'm not there. It's kind of a sense of security with a tinge of Mrs Kravitz from Bewitched.

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