Morrisey and the Eagles

A few years back I remember talking to a friend of mine who plays with a big Christian artist.

(I just earned a ‘no name-dropping’ star).

I asked him what style of music he preferred to compose. Since this artist was just trying to ‘find his place in this world’ (take the star back) and had a very mainstream audience, I wanted to find out how one of his band members differed from the mainstream.

I’ve always wondered how any performer can find people who truly dig his/her music. Do the musicians of Shakira love the music? What about the people pretending to play with the Jonas Brothers or Ashley Simpson? Do they really respect the artists for whom they perform?

So I asked my friend from the “Michael W Smurf” band. He said his personal style was a lot like Phil Collins.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

(expletive) Phil Collins?!!?! really? That’s your thing!?!? Listening to PC is like like eating a dry, cold bagel with butter and sand on it. This may sound a lot nicer than I mean it but there are only a few performers I would like NEVER to be saved, or, at least not until the performer is on his or her death bed. Phil Collins is number one on that hit list.

Solemnly consider what would happen. He’d be doing crappy covers of Heart of Worship and Shout to the Lord and every mother of a deadbeat in his 30s would have hope again.

Here’s my official list. Singers/Artists I hope do NOT become saved until death bed:

1. Phil Collins - sand butter, remember?
   
2. The Cyrus' - both Father and Daughter.
3. P-Diddy - It would be MC Hammer all over again.
   
4. Morrisey - The equivalent of a blues singer making Christian music. And you know he'd keep the hair.
   
5. The Eagles. Do you really want to hear the “revised” version of Hotel California?